Why Community Counts
What has been your experience of living in a religious community?
I’ve lived in a variety of religious communities for more than 37 years.
Some were large (over 100 sisters), some small (5 sisters), and several were
in between (12 to 23 sisters). In addition, I’ve lived with sisters
of other congregations. My own experience has shown me, then, that
religious community can take many different forms.
Why do you think community is such an essential part of religious life?
It goes back to the Gospel. One of the first things Jesus did when he
emerged from his 40 days in the desert was to gather a group of followers.
That
is what a religious community is: a gathering of individuals around
the person
of Jesus.
Jesus also sent his disciples out two by two. Perhaps that was his
way of underscoring the fact that we are not meant to live and minister
alone.
Rather,
we are meant to draw strength and encouragement from one another.
Though not everyone is called to a religious community, we are all
called
to community—whether
that means family, parish, prayer group, neighborhood, nation or even
the global community.
What has been the greatest blessing of community for you personally?
The love and support I have received from my sisters and the ways
they’ve
challenged me to grow. Sometimes my sisters express this love and
support in small ways: e-mailing me on my birthday, recommending
a good book,
teasing me, doing a small favor, showing an interest in my work,
sharing with me
their enthusiasm for their own ministry. My sisters love and support
me in big ways too: offering me advice and help when I need it, sharing
their joys
and sorrows with me and allowing me to share mine with them, and
praying with and for me.
My sisters also broaden my perspective on life. They encourage me
to do things I may never have dared to do on my own. They keep
me honest
by revealing
to me my failings as well as my strengths. And finally, they afford
me many
concrete opportunities to give and receive love.
What have been some of your greatest struggles in community?
One struggle is trying to live with individuals who are different
from me: I’m an extrovert; she may be an introvert. I’m an early bird;
she may not be fully conscious until noon. I open the window; she may close
it. A monk once said that the problem with living together in the monastery
is that every monk’s mother made potatoes differently. A
religious community is a gathering of unique and diverse individuals
which, strictly
speaking, did not choose to live with each other. Because we live
so closely together, this diversity sometimes causes tensions.
What keeps us together
despite these tensions is remembering why we are living in community:
because we’ve been called together by Jesus. In Scripture, the apostles
had their conflicts, too. But their love for Jesus kept them together.
Another struggle is intimacy. We come to community with different
experiences and expectations of intimacy. Some, afraid of intimacy,
try to live
in community with the least amount of sharing. Others come to community
with unrealistic
expectations of intimacy, expecting to forge deep friendships with
every
single member they live with. In community, we seek an intimacy
that is healthy and life-giving. Sometimes that’s a real struggle for us. But we’re
not alone. Both my married and single friends tell me they struggle
with intimacy, too!
What are the talents necessary for living in community?
One is the talent for listening. I once lived in a community with
a sister who had an incredible talent for listening well to others.
She
was our
cook. She had no degrees and sometimes felt she had little to
bring to community
discussion, yet others were constantly seeking her out to ask
her for advice or to solicit her prayers. When this sister died, many
of us
remarked that
her greatest gift was not her cooking ability—as wonderful
as it was. Rather it was her ability to elicit from others these
deeper
revelations
and sharing. Her talent for listening contributed greatly to
the general well-being of every community she lived in.
A second talent for living in community is the talent for speaking.
Healthy communities need persons who have the courage (and love)
to place some
of their ideas into the community arena for appraisal.
Such sharing involves risk, of course. Our words might make others
uncomfortable or even angry. But honest communication is crucial,
for it fosters other
virtues essential for community living, such as trust, understanding,
humility, and love.
The third talent for living in community is the talent for being
who you are. Living together should not squelch uniqueness; it
should foster
it.
There is an old story about a rabbi who prayed, “O Lord, make me holy!
Make me like Moses!” But God replied, “What need have
I of another Moses? But what I really could use is you!”
What advice would you give to someone who is considering choosing
religious life?
First of all, I would encourage them to give religious life their
serious consideration. It’s been an exceptionally rewarding
life for me and many other women and men. I would also suggest
they read what
they
can on
our life, get to know some people who are living it happily,
spend some time with a religious community and talk all of this
over with
God in
prayer.
They should also reflect on their own experience of community—their
family and parish, their experience of living in a dorm or sharing an apartment—to
see if they possess some of the qualities necessary for living with
others. What gifts and talents would they bring to community? What
aspects of
community would be difficult for them?
And finally, I would ask someone who is considering religious
life this question: Do you have a good sense of humor? A sense
of humor
is indispensable
for
living in a religious community. Humor and faith are very similar.
Both help us to trust in the ingenuity and love of God who
not only calls
together individuals of assorted backgrounds and varied temperaments,
but also gives
them the grace to live together in harmony and joy.
—Sister Melannie Svoboda, SND
Reprinted from Vision (2000 edition) with permission from Claretian Publications.
